Alright. I need to get this out before I go to work. Sorry for the verbal digital dump.
Most of the time, teaching is rewarding, even though there are little bumps and struggles...but it's worth it at the end of the day.
It's the end of the day today, and today it was not worth it. It was one of those days that should have been good (hello half-day field trip) but was terrible and makes you doubt your ability as an adult, a role model, and a teacher.
By that, I mean the students were not the angels and great students they normally are...by a long shot. It was alright up until 11:30 when we started preparing to leave. Students were getting their lunches, and not listening, so we sort of let it slide since it was lunch time. Oh by the way, my practicum teacher is out for surgery, leaving me with a sub, who has graduated from USU but still. You know how kids are with subs. Anyway. One kid doesn't eat. Three kids are terribly disrespectful. Now, we're at the fairgrounds for a field trip I wouldn't have enjoyed as a 4th grader..some water cycle/conservation thing that the district paid for. The kids hated it, but 70% were engaged and participated, which I loved to see. The other 30% multiplied by like three thousand and had to constantly go to the bathroom, get a drink, not listen, make noises, talk to their neighbors and friends across from them, threaten harm, ignore us the teachers and those giving instruction,etc etc etc. Add this to the fact that the students were freezing cold and wet because Logan decided to have spring weather today. Oh, and the buses were 30 minutes late picking us up so it was crazy.
Did I mention we went on a full day field trip (with the same sub) a week ago and it was so well? Yeah. High expectations shattered.
I guess for now, I just move past it and hope tomorrow is a better day, one that restores my faith in becoming a teacher.
I hated days like that...but it will get better! Sometimes you just have to chalk it up to the weather!! Hang in there! :)
ReplyDeleteTeaching (and parenting too) will make you question all of your abilities. Oh how it humbles you. I had some really awful teaching days. Just know that you are normal. All teachers have days like this. Almost all kids will misbehave in a certain context (and usually all at the same time). Sometimes there is nothing to be done but survive and hope and pray and prepare for better days. You already know that most days won't be this bad. :)
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